Audacious Faith for the Summer

This was typed out in May 2012...Thought I should still post it and let it sit before it sits in my draft in 2013.

I can't believe it's almost June. I still remember how it felt when it was March 2011.(yes, 2011) I remembering sitting in my cubicle, silently trying to soak in as much of March 2011. You see, after passing 30, the years seems to go by faster and faster and next thing you know, it's HAPPY NEW YEAR! I started paying attention to each date of March- just soaking it in and trying to cherish it before it passed.

May 2012 was a great month. I couldn't have asked for anything different. I know I highlighted all the anniversary moments of the month so I won't bring that back up again. However, I wanted to record my thoughts and experiences for May 2012 like it was March 2011.

May (and April) was suppose to be by the far the busiest month(s) According to my books, there was suppose to be an Easter Egg Hunt for PHP kids-hosted by Pathway and our 2nd Garage Sale to raise funds for the 5 low-income elementary schools in Milpitas. Between every email, phone call and meeting there was a lingering issue that I believe (as I look in hindsight) God wanted me to wholly focus on...

The marriage and my wife-hood

As if coordinating two large scaled events wasn't enough, this wrench was the biggest one I could have juggled in the mix. A Marriage Wrench + PHP Egg Hunt + Garage Sale. I think for the first few weeks, I juggled it pretty smoothly but as the days went by, I found myself losing grip, control and a sense of joy. I couldn't understand why. It's not like I haven't coordinated events while being married to Jonathan. It wasn't anything new. Perhaps challenging and different but nothing new. Day by day there was this gut feeling forming inside that, "maybe..maybe God doesn't want this." But until it was for sure, I just wanted to press on until the door was closed, than give up and wonder 'what if'. Pursuing those two things and still juggling my marriage wrench, I would have never imagined that God was going to do a work in my heart and our marriage.

It was a hard work and hard work. I found myself weeping, crying out to God, crying on my 2.4 mile drive home to work- quickly drying my tears and entering a place I wanted to call "Home Sweet Home" but instead it was bitter, dry and ugly. Fight after fight the days passed and sometimes we'd go without speaking for days at a time. It was a losing battle. I couldn't differentiate whether this was a distraction of the enemy  or a work of God. Then,..the last straw broke and initially, I wanted to walk out of the house. Grab a room and just get away as long as I could. I remember crouching in our small kitchen trying to see who I could call. And man, what a horrible feeling it is. Loneliness or feeling like there's nobody there. Not one name came to mind as somebody I could call up to crash overnight. Ladies and Gentlemen, the biggest sobbing lady has entered the scene. (hehe) It felt good to be able to let the tearducts get flooded. I think the last time I ever cried like that was probably in my highschool/college years. =) Even then, in the midst of being swollen eye'd, snot running down my nose, congested and "hiccupping"- sitting there in silence I could sense God's presence there with me- rock bottom, burnt out, drained and shattered. I completely dropped the Marriage wrench...on my foot and it hurt a lot.

To make a loong story short: 2 counseling sessions with some tough loving sisters, confession of sins and tons of affirmation, I felt like a new person. A brand new wife with one focus: Be the best wife in God's eyes that I can be for JP. By that time, the Easter egg hunt was a no go and the Garage sale was an afterthought. I wasn't freaking out or bothered that I started something and couldn't see the "finishline". My thoughts were shifted to something completely different and foreign subject (that requires my attention). God turned our marriage around in His perfect timing: before our 1 year anniversary.

The reason why I wanted to "document" that period is because as I look back from May 23, 2012, I see a possible 2nd reason of allowing all that "broken --> healing" session to happen. To prepare us for this summer. This summer I believe God is asking JP and I to have an audacious faith. (Audacious not necessarily meaning an action but an approach) So many things. Well two major things are happening and beneath those two things is a long list of details that we can't find the energy within the two of us- to handle it all.

1. FREEEEEDOM for Jonathan. No, he's not leaving me. ;) The business he's been running for the past 12 years will finally ( PRAISE THE LORD) be coming to an end. The dry cleaners' lease is up June 30, 2012 and it will be a sweet "happy ever after" ending to the 12th chapter. He'll have his weekends back and the heavy burden of running the darn thing: POOF! There are however, some "impossibles" in this portion though. D-E-B-T. It was anticipated to be waiting for us but even with our attempts to significantly reduce it or even demolish it completely, all roads led to a dead end.

I am a believer in Luke 18:17:

"He replied, "What is impossible for people is possible with God."

I'm not here to say God is going to get rid of our debt instantly nor do I doubt He is capable of doing that but I believe God will make the impossible outcome of paying it off...possible with His help. Am I stressed? No. I am worried? Not at all. Am I excited/anxious with anticipation? Yes...very much so. 

It's to that point where no matter where JP and I turn, we're cornered and in a way "forced" to stay put. Cornered where the only action will be coming from God's Hand. That's what excites me. This giant # requires not a pewny God but a giant God as well. If God can only be seen "high and lifted up" then may His glory be revealed in the most jaw dropping impossibles of our life. 

The Parks: A look back...

It's been a year since I shed the Huh name for Park. I couldn't wait to blog about our 365 days of being one. It's been quite an adventure-all thanks to my wonderful husband who planned, drove, paid and drove us back to "home sweet home" I had one of the best 3 day celebrations I could have had given we had our time and budget restrictions. Before I visit the 3 day celebration, I wanted to revisit the past year or even earlier: to our engaged days. 

Our engagement photos: Check out the short hair do! 

Thank you Jong Hwan for providing these shots!

Shopping for our new home. Obviously JP found it amusing.

"I think they messed up in the factory"

I'm not gonna lie. Married life is not easy. 신혼집=참기름집 (Honeymoon home = Sesame Oil Home) Normally they say that a honeymoon home is as smooth/sweet/rich like sesame oil. I used to think that's how it would be the moment I was married but it wasn't until I had one of those Korean parking lot talks with a old church friend..that I wasn't informed of the process to making sesame oil. (Roasting the seeds, crushing the seeds, compacting the seeds to extract the oil...very very painful yes?)

Looking back I can confidently say that we're both not the same person we were when we stood there in front of our friends and family, saying our vows before God and celebrating our union.

Me: "Obba, do you think we're the same people we were standing at our wedding ceremony?" 

JP: "... I hope not. " =)

Thanks Dave for this awesome picture!!

God has already done a work between the two of us. A work that would've taken years to undo and re-build, He did it in one year. The idea of marriage when I entered it wasn't aligned with God's design for marriage. Although I knew in my head about being a submissive wife, it wasn't coming out in my words and actions. It was based on whether I agreed upon the circumstances and if the decision he was making made sense to me. But God revealed to me through struggles, encouragement, disappointments, brokenness, desperation and the love of other godly women that I wasn't being that submissive wife GOD wanted me to be. I can't overlook the power of prayer either! I had to let God make some changes in me which included letting go of my ways and letting God's ways come through. When I was finally able to grasp it and communicate it to JP that I was wrong and where/how God is working in my heart..I began to see a marriage that was producing sesame oil. Even though that happened towards the end of our 1st year, I don't doubt that a sesame seed was wasted or crushed in vain, extracted in pain by mistake. Every seed and every step was used to bring our marriage to where it is today. I see more kind, authentic love between JP and I in our communication and time spent together. Is it perfect? Nope,..far from it but are we the same people who stood there saying our vows on May 7th, 2011?..absolutely not. (Hallelujah!)

To celebrate, Jonathan wanted to take a tour to our favorite date spots. Places we loved being at together, place where we had the most memories and the best moments. We left as soon as JP was done with work to Santa Cruz where we took a lot of random walks on the Boardwalk and the pier.  It were the times JP was overwhelmed with the cleaners or just needed fresh air, we'd sit on the bench facing the ocean..no words needed to be exchanged and all we could hear was the crashing of the waves.

We wanted to take our engagement photos where we spent a lot of time being there for each other: Santa Cruz Boardwalk. Mike took some awesome pictures like the one below. Although we couldn't do the piggy-back scene, it was cool to revisit that spot as Mr & Mrs.. <3

Engagement photos

May 6, 2012

We continued our way down to Monterey where we did numerous dates out there with the Aquarium and the wharf. We paddle-boated out there in the blazing heat-LOLing about how funny it would be to stakeout under the trees and scare people. Random memories.

JP being silly at our last stop in Monterey area before heading back home

For Sunday I was again left in the dark with not much options but to follow his lead. I had no clue he had pre-purchased tickets for us to celebrate.We didn't make honeymoon plans after the wedding so we headed out to see the Giants as a last last last minute decision.This year, he wanted to establish family traditions for us like going to the Giants game every wedding anniversary. Look at us: we're so "young" and in love.

May 7th, 2011: Giants v. Rockies.

May 6th, 2012: Giants v. Brewers
The tradition will continue as long as we're together <3

JP had outdone himself so much for our 1st year anniversary. I wasn't expecting anything for the 7th but he sent flowers to my work and even dressed up as my Groom and took me to Espetus- another past memory. =) Doesn't he look so handsome in his green tie? It was like we were having dinner after our wedding all over again 

I love this picture. Thank you JP for being creative
sentimental and thoughtful for our 1st anniversary!!

We spent the evening talking about where we think God is leading our family and what we can prepare/react for as best we can. It's kinda exciting to be married to JP without the dry cleaners. To have his weekends back that he never really had for the past 12 years. I hope he can find deep rest during this time of waiting on God to open job doors. In the meantime, we hope and pray God will grant us a chance to be parents. To raise a wildchild Park in the Lord. hahaha. These pictures make me smile. =D

Though we don't have kids of our own, we do have cute nieces and nephews to care for and "practice".

This was probably the first time I saw JP hold a baby.

Showing off their mohawks

And now...William knows how to play Uncle Jonathan! LOL

I think she was running to the "ropes of the ring" to body slam him on her 2nd birthday

Absolutely LOVE this photo

There were many odd photos from our wedding collection. This one was one of them. I don't get it...WHY?

But I know..this husband of mine..has multiple lovers. Cheating on me. Yunho and Mike Obba..shame on you.
Jonny Lee: Shame on you. 

Dear Husband Jonathan,

I love you. I thank God for a husband who wants to become more like Jesus. =)
I'm excited to see where and how God leads us and works in/through us.
Thank you for making our 1st year anniversary so special and memorable.

Benaiah's legacy

I was reading today's LJ and I came across the story of Benaiah. 

For those who don't know, if God blesses our family with a son, Jonathan would like to name the son, Benaiah. At first I was really against it only because it sounded so foreign and "Benign". But as I read today's LJ reading in 1 Chronicles 11, I believe there was something special about Benaiah.

Although Abishai was the leader of David's 30 men, there isn't much said about his bravery and service. However Benaiah has such a valiant resume under his name. 

Check this out:

²² There was also Benaiah son of Jehoiada, a valiant warrior from Kabzeel. He did many heroic deeds, which included killing two champions^[h] of Moab. Another time, on a snowy day, he chased a lion down into a pit and killed it. ²³ Once, armed only with a club, he killed an Egyptian warrior who was 7 1⁄2 feet^[i] tall and whose spear was as thick as a weaver’s beam. Benaiah wrenched the spear from the Egyptian’s hand and killed him with it. ²⁴ Deeds like these made Benaiah as famous as the three mightiest warriors. ²⁵ He was more honored than the other members of the Thirty, though he was not one of the Three. And David made him captain of his bodyguard.

As I read this the scene from 300 came to mind where the young spartan kills the wolf in the cold winter storm. 

Benaiah sounds like a warrior and that was all he was known for-at least for what I can read in the few verses but if I could switch out the scenario to 2012 and it spoke about a warrior named Benaiah Park. I hope it would read something like this: 

²² There was also Benaiah son of Jonathan, a valiant warrior from Santa Clara. He did many heroic deeds, which included rescuing individuals and families from poverty. Another time, on a snowy day, he chased a thief/criminal on foot (just like mama Park) and handed them over to the authorities. ²³ Once, armed only with a Bible, he rescued a drug addict in San Jose, a homeless man who had struggled from his divorce and turned to drugs to cope. Benaiah pointed out the healing and redeeming power of God to this man and was able to bury the thoughts of suicide from this man. ²⁴ Deeds like these made Benaiah as well known as those who were popular ²⁵ He was more honored than anybody in his circle of influence, though he was not considered cool. And God made him a leader in the community.

hehe..

there's my moment of daydreaming for the day.

What is closer today than yesterday? Answer: Death

Good Morning Friends,

It's odd for me to be at my dining table blogging away at this hour when I'm normally in bed trying to wake up. Something caught my attention this morning and I'm sure many (understatement) of you have already heard about this campaign.

KONY 2012

The video link has gone viral on Facebook and lo and behold I find it on my latest app addition: Pudding.to. It captured my heart this morning and shot me up with a triple dose of caffeine. The campaign is great. I'm all for it. Did my duties like watch the video, share the image/video and signed the petition on their website..but is that all that I CAN do or all that I WANT to do. Is this it? Is there more? Can there be more?....

Surely..

Last night B.U.I.L.D.  gathered and I shared honestly: I've been feeling overwhelmed with life and "dead" at the same time. There's been moments when I feel absolutely "solo" in these attempts to help the Church become what it was called to be. But even now I find myself staring at the empty space around me and there's always this last flicker of "hope" that stares emptiness in the eye and say, 

" GOD IS BIG and HE IS MORE THAN ABLE."

Good days, I'll open my eyes and wonder, "What's the agenda for today God?" 

Is it another day that needs to happen in order for the next thing to come?

Life is short ...it's inevitable and it's not guaranteed.

We all "know" it but why is it so hard to get our feet off the ground and run knowing that Death is closer today than it was yesterday. 

I wish:

*I had an unlimited bank account where I could keep drawing out of it to organize and share opportunities to make life less about ourselves and more about LOVE. 

*I could spend time how I want to than how I have to. No obligations but to transform my 8 hour shift into something that influences Santa Clara county, Bay Area, the US,...shoot. the WORLD. 

*I had all the networks needed to mobilize the talents, skillls, and gifts that others have.

God is funny but He never lies:

I can hear Him telling me, "But Judy...you do. With me, You have everything You need."

Such small faith I have don't I God? I want to do big things but I can't get my own feet off the ground. I can see that "The End" isn't a part of my mental timeline. It's a sense of being comfortable standing here not realizing that Death is closer than it was yesterday...

To think about Death is normal. But I believe many in this generation, many in the community don't approach life normally. We want greater/bigger/better things in this life. We don't think about Death and "no guarantees" and the "unknowns" of this life. Instead we treat Death like it doesn't exist or like it's our best friend who will wait as long as we want them to. Unfortunately Death never signed a contract like that with us when we were born. The only promise Death makes is that it will come to every person whether they like it or not, prepare for it or not, fair or unfair...

My biggest fear is that I would waste this life God has given me..waste it on things that are just fakes. 

"Don't Waste Your Life" -Lecrae

Yeah do it for Christ if you trying to figure what to do with your life

If you making money hope you doing it right because the money is Gods you better steward it right

Stay focused if you ain't got no ride

Your life ain't wrapped up in what you drive

The clothes you wear the job you work

The color your skin naw we Christian first

People living life for a job

Make a lil money start living for a car

Get em a house a wife kids and a dog

When they retire they living high on the hog

But guess what they didn't ever really live at all

To live is Christ yeah that's Paul I recall

To die is gain so for Christ we give it all

He's the treasure you'll find in the mall

Your money your singleness marriage talent and time

They were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is Divine

That's why it's Christ in my rhymes

That's why it's Christ all the time

My whole world is built around him He's the life in my lines

I refused to waste my life

He's too true ta chase

That ice

Heres my gifts and time cause I'm constantly trying to be used to praise the Christ

If he's truly raised to life

Then this news should change your life

And by his grace you can put your faith in place that rules your days and nights.

Life is short. I don't know how long my time here on earth is allowed.

But it's better to do something about it and regret later,...than do nothing about it and regret horribly later. 

My wall clock says its time to get ready for work....

(to be continued..)

On an encouraging-cool note: Sound familiar? Don't give up on Love. Love is cray cray

Serving 101: When God's lesson is on repeat "

Last night's "brainfart" was much needed because God knows I needed to make room for today's lesson.
And a repeating lesson it will be.

I spent this morning at Manna Ministry. A ministry of NV (New Vision Church) which is devoted to providing healthy lunchboxes for terminally ill/elderly/cancer patients...get this...EVERY SATURDAY. They have a team of loving mothers/wives who meet to cook anywhere from 10-20+ lunchboxes and if you count how many servings of which entree..it's a big #. Today would mark my 2nd Saturday at Manna and this time I was going with En who is somewhat new to Pathway but BOY does she have energy and heart! This visit was definitely special for a few reasons:

1. New co-laborer for the kingdom
2. Learned a bit more about the patients and their condition
3. Was reminded of a lesson I learned the night before at Beautiful Day orientation dinner.

What a B-YOO TIFUL DAY~~ 7:45am.
"Sunshine won't you be my mother"-Switchfoot

By the time I got into the cafeteria, En was already in the kitchen washing veggies! I quickly joined her!
Here is today's menu:

Baked Salmon, variety of sauteed side dishes, cabbage bean paste soup and mixed fruit

We got assigned to cutting/washing the cabbage. For the first time I realized language tone and communication is very key to building the bridge between Korean speaking and English speaking. I had 3-4 different steps given on how to effectively wash the cabbage (3 stage wash process). Steps 1-2-3-4 sounded like 4-2-1-3, 3-4-1-2, 2-1-3-4....Yowzers.
Lesson #1 
"If the head honchos can't communicate the directions clearly..a lot can get lost in translation which leads to loss of time, productivity, ineffectiveness, additional miscommunication (poor En..my bad) and a feeling of frustration.

I had to keep telling myself: "Humility and patience. God showed humility and patience towards me.Humility and patience."


Mrs. Choi invited us to learn a new way to bake salmon. She was so enthusiastic to teach us this new recipe. Salmon fillets w/ a light application of Mirin (to lock in moisture and kill the "fishyness) baked for 5-10 mins in 450degrees. Have tobiko + mayo mixture read. Remove fillets, add tobiko+mayo on top of each fillet and bake for another 20-30 mins (until cooked) at 450degrees. Remove to cool. Squeeze lemon over to balance the "oily" taste and use chopped scallions for color.

En preparing the fillets with the tobiko+mayo mixture

We initially doused the fillets at first.. WOOPS
We got "scolded" for applying too much = too heavy/oily/creamy for patients.

Here is the final look! It was so simple and super delicious!

 We moved over to the packing side and En,..man she's a fast worker. Queen bee! :)

Ta-Da~ Today's lunchbox is complete! 

Each patient was given the choice to receive anywhere from up to 1 individual serving or up to 4 servings which applied to all items in the box as well as porridge and soup. The ladies who were supervising the packing section said something very important that I didn't think about when it came to packing the food. At least for me, it's important to do a clean job packing the lunchboxes but there was an additional importance I didn't realize which made me think about outreach:

"How much of my recipients/target group do I know/understand?"

This is how the question came about....

If you look at the photo above, there's a side dish that's in the bean sprout family. Its blanched or "flash" blanched I like to call it, then quickly removed and iced so it can be seasoned. It tastes great but visually in the box, it didn't look too fly. It took one person to look at the box and realize what was missing: 

Black sesame seeds for presentation

 She ran into the kitchen and brought the whole bottle--began adding a few to each box. And I kid you not, it made a world's difference in my eyes and enhanced the overall feel of the lunchbox. I told her, (in Korean) WOW! That's a great idea! I wouldn't have thought about that. I would've just used regular sesame seeds! Great idea! (thumbs up)" Her response:

"Doesn't it make a big difference? If we're preparing these meals for patients, these lunchboxes at the very least need to look appealing to the eyes of the patient. If it doesn't taste good then that's our fault. We want to have the patient open this lid and feel the urge to eat it because it looks so darn good. They have to eat and if they struggle with loss of appetite then this is the least (good presentation) we can do to help them."

They started sharing some of the patient's profile/conditions. Many of them live in senior homes and hospice care. I could hear the ladies asking, "We have some leftover should we give it to _______?" The response: " Oh yes~~ Yes that's a good idea. tsk tsk tsk. She's been suffering so much with no help. sigh" Whoever _____ is this is what I do know: She's a pastor's wife who is battling skin cancer. For whatever reason she hasn't received much help. It's been a physically painful battle for her.

Lesson #2:
"Study the people. Know their struggle, their pain, their sufferings so that you can better minister and love on them. If you as a parent has a child who asks you for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, then how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." (Matthew 7:9-11)


God knows me. He knows that if I ask Him, he would give only the best not the opposite of that. As I chew on how to prepare/plan this Easter's outreach and Garage Sale...I never asked myself until tonight, "Do I know my target?"

* Kids with special needs (Families) - "Absolutely not! I need to study them in order to understand their needs better so that Pathway can better serve them"

* Low Income Schools- "Hmm..I know I'm not completely oblivious to the need but I know there's a difference between 'knowing of" teacher's/school's struggles and truly "knowing the struggle."

What now?
1. Find people in Pathway and teachers who have experience with special needs kids. Pick their brain and invite them to pray about joining the team to collaborate.
2. Invite the principals to lunch or ask if I can visit the campus to meet with them. Ask them the important questions and get in on their problems and struggles. How will I know unless I go?

Back to Manna~~

The Chinese Italien Chef offered to take a picture of us.
He even said, "If you take a picture with me and my hat, it'll look even MORE legit" LOL

I have no doubt En and I were suppose to serve together at Manna for a variety of reasons. I was so thankful I had the chance to get to know her a tad bit more. My time with her encouraged me so much and reminded me how little and fickle my faith can be. I'd say one of the top 3 highlights with En was when the "Kimchi lady" not only gave us a taste test of her Kimchi but she blessed us with a to-go container of that yum! She had another helper give it to us. We turned around and heard, " The Kimchi halmuhnee (grandma) said this is a gift for you two for helping out." En and I looked at each other and the containers and we SCREAMED " AHHHHHHH". I saw all the heads from the kimchi station turn at us with shock and then laughter as they realized why we were screaming. ha ha ha.

One taste of this kimchi and I was juiced! The flavors woke me up like espresso coffee!
Korean cocaine indeed!

I've had a blast at Manna Ministry. Both times I've gone I haven't walked away with an ounce of regret of how I spent my morning or whether it was worth waking up that early. Even if I'm tired or half-awake walking in there's something I should really observe and take not of that Manna Ministry and Mrs. Choi is doing really well to get people like me, to want to come back. This might be an old ministry philosophy but I just heard about it from Pastor John at the Beautiful Day dinner and (PTL!) got to witness/experience it firsthand at Manna today.

Lesson #3
"In any ministry or outreach event, yes, the people you are serving are important but the people you are serving with..they are your true clients. Those are the people you need to take care of the best. It would be very beneficial to make sure that your clients have the best time ever in whatever you've planned for them to help out with. Make memories with them and make sure they walk away thinking, "That was awesome!" or " I had so much fun!" or "I want to come back and do this again!" We started Beautiful Day in 2004, and every Sunday, I kid you not, I see somebody wearing one of the Beautiful Day shirts to worship. Anybody who was a part of it knows when they see the shirt, immediately wonderful memories and experiences come up and instantly there's a connection which develops community and comradery." -J.Talbot of Beautiful Day/Westgate.

As I reflected on today's experience at Manna. Mrs. Choi and her team has this nailed down. Sure they' not as enthusiastic as Mrs. Choi is but they're not shy to say, "Thank you for coming out and helping us today!" nor were they shy to hand me and En some goodies for the home. They treated us with generosity like we were family. Hmm..WE ARE (in CHRIST!) They were generous in encouraging us with compliments and just making the effort to make us feel welcomed and appreciated. VIP experience every time.....hence why I'll be going back next week.

God,

I hear you through Pastor John and through Manna Ministry. Don't stop teaching me God. Please do not hold back on these valuable lessons.

Brainfart: Go big or Go home

What a night.
I feel like Carrie Bradshaw from SATC except it's a bad night to write. This darn cursor keeps blinking at me.
It's not that I don't have anything to blog about or unload from this brain of mine. Quite the contrary..

I feel very overwhelmed from today.
Let's back up a few weeks...
There's been this urge in me to place myself and the church in a position where IF we want to see a BIG GOD work..then we can't be planning small things where we have everything planned and "we know exactly how many, who, when this is going to happen" all nailed and confirmed. It causes a conflict because

1. It puts us in a position where we no longer need to depend on God to reveal His BIGness.

When the need for God
to heal
to provide
to lead
to confirm
to demonstrate His power..

is taken away from the picture...you're left with just you and the people with you...No God. No need for God. AND THAT MY FRIEND IS NOT WHERE YOU WANT TO BE.
Why would I want to put myself in that position? Because it's secure? It's safe? It's what we've known to do and we know it works "well". It's "fine".
That rubs me the wrong way because God isn't about security or playing it safe ( or physical safety-which is a whole 'nother topic), God isn't what we know and know how He works "well", God isn't just "fine".
This God, my God, our God..He's unbelievable! He's creative, inspirational, He's got more tricks up His sleeve than we can ever imagine. He does the impossible. He does what man, science, medicine can't do. The type of God who takes old rusty washers and transforms them into platinum baby~ That's my God! That's our God!

to bring it all back.....
If I want to see God work in and through the Church and do His thang through local outreach...why ..what would possess me to plan/coordinate small/safe/secure things? It's like making Alicia Keys sing with a choir of 500 and expecting her voice to outpower and outshine all 499 singers. What's the point right? It's a waste of such a beautiful voice and there's no focus or highlight moment for Alicia...
If my passion is to mobilize, woo people and rally them together to express who they are in Christ to the community around them-- then for me to plan with a small faith or to plan knowing how all the empty slots are going to be filled..where in the equation would God fit in?
In that scenario: out goes the humility and desire to lean on God. The dependent heart. The sold-out heart that acknowledges who gives and who takes away. The attitude to recognize God is diminished and in comes "I got this down cold~~ God you can take the back seat" attitude comes forward.

my life can't reflect this message

*sigh*
I've been researching on two main things for Spring:
1. Easter Outreach
2. Garage Sale
They can both be pewny or they can be bigger than anything I'm capable of handling.
I'm of course leaning towards the latter. The urge to dive in, leap off the cliff and see where and how God responds has been the itch on my back that I can't reach but I long to reach and satisfy.

Today I had two approaches. Didn't know what would come of either. My two goals were to post in FB inviting teachers what their personal needs were in the school and collect their information. The other was to either speak or email the principals of MUSD elementary schools and see if they respond. Frankly, I thought the principals wouldn't give me the time or day based on the lack of response that came from the 1st attempt to help low-income families. "Eh"

I called MUSD ( Milpitas Unified School District) superintendent and got some information on the elementary schools. She listed off the five Title 1-low income schools: Weller, Rose, Spangler, Burnett,  and Randall. Emailed the principals asking them to share what their school's dire/emergency needs are. So far Burnett and Rose responded and Weller's principal said, "Count us in! I'm gonna email you back as soon as I have staff meeting!."

And FB. the one I was banking on...can we say/hear crickets?

And tonight's orientation meeting with Beautiful Day coordinators and lead pastor John Talbot. My brain is fried but juiced. Oh boy is it juiced. If the pastor could tell my gears were grinding then I was in overdrive.

God..please let this be the door opening for Pathway to build relationships in Milpitas. God please please let this be the opportune moment for Pathway to step into the role You've wanted the church to become for years. A chance to make the wrongs of the Church into rights starting 2012, now God.

Discipleship to Loving God and Loving Others to Expressing who we are in Christ to the world.
What will that look like for Pathway in 2012? Without dismissing God and the need for God.

I SAY WE GO BIG or GO HOME! HOO RA!


(...to be continued)

Celebrating Life & "LOLing till you cry" 2.27.2012

Celebrating birthdays normally consists of going out to a restaurant with an assembly of friends and depending on the circumstances a 2nd round of games, drinks or some sort of outing usually follows.
JP and I were invited to a potluck dinner and we were more than happy to attend except we didn't know what to bring. Initially JP just finished polishing up his 매운닭 -Korean Spicy Chicken recipe a few days before we received the invitation. I thought, "PERFECT!" and it tasted great! Once the menu was set we realized, "uh oh..maybe Korean spicy chicken won't go well." All i could think of was good old fashioned American comfort food so I decided to make The Cheeseburger Soup.
If you'd like to try it yourself here's the receipe

The food was so amazing! I think it was silent for the first couple of minutes.
Nothing but nom nom nom

There was a stacked appetizer "bar" filled with all sorts of YUM

Steroid injected Strawberries. They were soo sweet and blessed in size!

Happy Birthday to the Birthday Brotha: Dr. Mike Lee

Dessert Part 2: Birthday cake and a hot cupa Joe

 It was by far the most glorious potluck we have ever been in a looong time. Everything was soo delicious: The ragu, the roast, all the veggies were flavorful and rich, PTL the soup was accepted (YEE), and can't forget the salt n pepper wings that the Son's blessed us with.

Next to the food, I was so blessed and just thankful for the company and conversations we had amongst ourselves. Given that it was the Ladies and the Men having their own space..I haven't laughed and related so much with others in the Church in a long time. We shared our struggles and funny moments being daughter in laws and wives/gfs. It was like a compressed Girls' Night Out at the Lees. I cried and exercised my belly blop from all the LOLing. LOLing till you Cry!! Make it a lifestyle!

The Birthday Brother and his Men

The Ladies: Thank you Hannah for inviting us and cooking some delish Roast!

The next best thing: Seeing our friend Jonny sporting the Truth of MLB.

Happy Birthday Dr. Lee,
I hope you enjoyed your evening and you have a wonderful wife to host and organize it all for you. =)
Thank you for giving yourself and gifts to the local and international body of believers! May your 21st year of life be oh so blessed, rich with the presence of God's sovereignty and love...and hopefully gifts of life for you two as well.